Life So Mundane in Batangas
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

16 January 2016

Acknowledging the Archbishop and Mrs.

Image credit: www.insidereport.co.ug.

This story has been playing inside my head for a few days now and for reasons I cannot explain, as though it was willing me to write it.

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24 September 2014

A Different Kind of Senior Moment

So maybe it was my fault. Or maybe not! Maybe it was the fault of my earphones.

So once again, I race ahead of the story. It really goes like this.

I went to the supermarket yesterday to replenish the fridge; and wanted to be back in time to cook lunch. The basket counter had a few people lined up before it; so I decided to find another cashier where the queue was not so discouraging.

There was this one close to the entrance to the supermarket which just had one elderly lady having her purchases punched in and a youngish Air Force soldier in camouflage fatigues behind her.

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23 April 2014

Mommy Dionisia and What the Middle Finger Means

There was an animated but humorous discussion the other night on this DZMM showbiz talk show about Mommy Dionisia’s use of the middle finger to point at the ring while she prayed the rosary during Manny’s recent title bout against Bradley.

Social media, and not for the first time, went into a frenzy about Mommy D’s antics. There were those who accused her of using sorcery so that Manny could defeat Bradley.

Others squirmed because Mommy D’s eccentricities, something Filipinos have learned to tolerate, suddenly had an international audience.

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13 October 2013

The DotA Van

Marvin, Gabe. George and Alex (not their real names, but naturally) are four typical high school seniors. That is, too smart for their own good!

And so, intramurals week was drawing to a close, none of the four was involved in any of the remaining games and each was being eaten alive by the scourge of all teenagers: boredom.

As is wont to happen when a group of bored teenagers come together, one is always bound to have a brainstorm; and that the brainstorm will be a good one is not always the case.

“Why don’t we,” the one with the sudden inspiration suddenly asked the others, “leave the campus to play DotA?”

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19 July 2012

How to Defeat China in an Armed Conflict

Before you proceed, let me warn you that everything that you read from this point on is very much tongue-in-cheek.

With the diplomatic standoff with China hogging the news each and every frigging night, I suppose every Filipino at one time or another has reflected on the possibility of a shooting war actually breaking out.

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20 June 2012

Citizens’ Warning Systems

And once in a while, I like to do posts that don’t really need any profound thinking, either on my part or on that of the readers. This is one of those. In this country of ours, we can be so at the mercy of the elements; and Nature always invariably ends up winning. We are only humans, after all.

Everyone seems to have come up with one warning system or the other that always comes up short when Nature decides to flex its muscles and show all of us who is boss. What do we do then but to take it all in stride; and often it is our people’s innate sense of humour that enables us all to survive.

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21 February 2012

That Awkward Moment

…when you see a person you have been avoiding walking the opposite direction towards you along a narrow corridor and you know that turning back will be too obvious.

…when you encounter somebody you cannot recognize who is beaming a wide happy smile at you, you smile right back to be polite and then belatedly realize that the person is actually smiling at somebody walking right behind you.

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19 January 2012

10 Things Your Keyboard May Wish to Tell You


Just for laughs, supposing your keyboard can speak, what will it probably wish to tell you? We just take it for granted; we often don’t even notice it is there. Yet, where will we all be without this thing we just call the keyboard? You won’t even be reading this without it!

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21 October 2011

Proposed Alternative Taallywood Signs


As Shakespeare would have said, much ado about nothing. No less than the governor of the Province of Batangas, our very own Ate Vi, felt she had to go public by saying that the idea to put up an ala Hollywood sign using the name of the province across one of the craters of Taal Volcano was nothing but that – an idea.

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01 July 2011

25 Random Things Not Really About Me

In late 2008 and early 2009, there used to be this silly Facebook game called the “25 Random Things About Me.” The concept was simple. You wrote 25 trivial things about yourself and then you tagged people. Being tagged sort of obligated people to write their own; and in turn, they were asked to tag others. It was conceptually a great way to make people keep going back to their Facebook accounts.

I thought it was silly and had absolutely no plans to participate; until one night, I just thought, what the heck. Being me, I had to do it my own way, of course. That is, with a twist. It was not really about me. Here is the old Facebook Note:

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25 May 2011

Facebook Town Signs


Who was it who said too much to do and too little time to do it? There are definitely days when it feels exactly the opposite: too much time and too little to do! Here is living proof of what an idle mind can do.

Imagine that there is a town called Facebook. Supposing you took a joyride around it? Well, here are some signs that you may possible encounter.

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12 May 2011

Greg Atijon and the Trouble His Famous Ilonggo Accent Could Cause


Before anything else, apologies right away to any Ilonggo who may wander into this blog and chance upon this story. I myself am half-Ilonggo – my father was from Tigbauan, so should I say Karay-á – and so I know that more often than not, those from his corner of the globe sometimes struggle with the phonetic nuances of the Tagalog language.

The reverse will probably also be true; that is, if a Tagalog tries to learn and speak Ilonggo. However, the two stories I tell here are from the point of view of the Tagalog in me and I hope will be seen more in the light of the humor each story generated rather than be thought of as something offensive.

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18 April 2011

Mr. William Hall


In the old days, before the onset of computerized enrolment systems, a college student who was not in a block section stood patiently in front of a bulletin board trying to manually fix up a schedule that was suitable. There were those who tried to fill out the enrolment form with morning classes only so they could have the afternoons off; and there were those who did exactly the opposite.

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15 April 2011

Crap! It’s My Brother!

“Sabi ko na!” This morning when I went for breakfast, I took one look at the guy walking with a tray to where I was coming from at the cafeteria and I immediately recognized him as the guy I could not quite place in my head during my ride home yesterday evening. He looked my way then quickly looked away; so I walked on to the counter to order breakfast.

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13 March 2011

The Street Corner

And before I totally forget about this anecdote told once upon a time by my good friend Willy, I thought I would write it down for posterity…

Willy and I used to work together in this tiny cramped office underneath the bleachers on the eastern side of the SENTRUM. Although the office was small, our responsibilities were immense. We were in charge of external affairs for the whole institution.

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13 December 2010

One Indian Christmas

There used to be, earlier this decade in the school that I work for, an Indian college student who was under the care of the Brothers. His name was Kishore. He was tall, handsome and dark-skinned, as people from the South of India – he explained to me one day – rather tend to be.

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03 December 2010

There Is Always Humor!

Humor is something I will appreciate anytime, anywhere…

There was space for just four more passengers in the jeepney I rode on my way home this evening, but there were five factory workers – all female – at the kanto where the driver stopped to pick up passengers.

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15 November 2010

The Confession

I traveled Saturday with the high school boys for the annual Alaska Cup; and the fact that we made it all the way to the semi-finals meant that we were at the Alabang Country Club until late in the afternoon.

It is always a tricky affair, this Alaska Cup. Because there are so many teams from all over the country involved, only the top team from each of the six groups is guaranteed passage into the knockout quarterfinals. If a team loses or even draws one of its group matches, its chances of progressing into the next stage are significantly diminished.

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11 November 2010

The Things I Tell The Boys

Many boys who trained under me will attest to the fact that I am not exactly the easiest person to get along with, particularly when things are not going right on that football field. I can be extremely difficult to please; and – like many coaches – I sometimes have my own colorful way of getting across a message.

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08 November 2010

Party Spikes


The Brits refer to them as football boots. Those pointed things under the boots that help give the player traction, these are called more like cleats or studs. This being the Philippines, there are those who do occasionally refer to them as spiked shoes – and we football players instinctively know that these are the sort who probably cannot tell a football from a beach ball.

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